Honey, you are SO NOT what I need right now!!!

“Wow! You really hate this guy!” my mother said after I described this boy I have been dating. I told her about how his idea of affection is reaching for my hand, sighing and saying “Oh, Cristina…” with a slight smile on his face. I also told her how much he complains about work and how if I had to hear another work story in which he was the victim, I would probably have to cut off my ears and send it to him in the mail with a note that says, “Who’s the victim now?” I have had enough of him and his corny jokes! I have had enough of his conversation which, by the way, is as stimulating as watching bacon grease congeal in a frying pan. I have had enough of his reserved nature! I need someone whose boisterous laughter fills a room. I need someone who can see the positive in even the saddest of situations. I need someone who can relax and let go!

Now that I work with children I find that my attention span is dwindling while in adult conversation. My mind wanders. I become short with people. I finish the person’s sentence if they are taking too long to say something predictable. I die in the presence anything or anyone too predictable. This is why I love erratic conversation. I relish the brief feeling of confusion and the fits of laughter that follow once I have found my way. I enjoy conversations that make me feel like I’m in New York fighting my way through sidewalk traffic, dodging left and right, and walking frightfully fast to keep up with the rhythm of the city. It is so hectic that something random is bound to happen. When it does, that shrewd city countenance is melted away and a slight chuckle is released. I love the randomness of life and I need that in a relationship as well. I’m too young for things to be routine, especially my love life!

I know I need to dump him, and I’m going to, but before I do I would like to say some nice things about him first. He is thoughtful, very patient, and caring in his own quiet way. His innocence can be endearing at times. He is gentle and well mannered.

Yes. He is all of those things and it is a shame I don’t like him because he really is one of the good ones. I just feel that, even though he is older then I am, I am much older in too many ways. I have experienced more of the essential things in life; things that he does not even know exist. I don’t want to sound arrogant or condescending, but it’s true. I’m light years ahead of this guy and I know it. I control the relationship completely and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t like to have THAT much power because sometimes I like to be the one who is taken over. Like everything in my life, there is a jazz song that totally describes my pseudo relationship with this boy… “It Was Just One of Those Things.”

I don’t know if I should date again after this one. I need to get a few things straightened out with myself. Maybe some time for self-reflection and evaluation would be good. I need to examine what I really want and what I need in order to be happy. Something tells me that a boyfriend is not on that list for now. When I do date again, it will be someone special who is worth my time. It will not be someone who bores me to death and who causes me to role my eyes every single time I speak to him on the phone. Sigh… I’m tired, but still laughing.